What makes you think we have time?

One of the most poignant and potent posts yet by Dr. Childress on parental alienation:
“What really grieves me is the thought of this little girl at 18 and 25 and 35, for the rest of her life. Her final memories of her beloved father will be of her cruelty and rejection toward him. She’ll never have the chance to fix that. She was robbed of that chance by the ignorance and incompetence of the mental health people who said we had time. They were wrong.

We have no time, only now. We need to fix things now. The father-daughter bond is too special. A son’s bond to his mother, or a father and son, or a daughter’s bond to her mother, these are all too important to risk. We need to fix them, restore love, now. Not tomorrow, not some imaginary time when things are “ready” – ready to be loved? How absurd. Being loved, receiving the love of mom or dad is always a good thing. Today, yesterday, now, whenever. A child receiving a father’s love, a mother’s love, is always a good thing.

And we don’t have time. Don’t you understand how this life thing works? Children are only children once, and they have only one mother, and only one father. The love of a father, the love of a mother is too important. There is no time. We need to fix things now.

We don’t have time to restore the parent-child bond. What makes you think that the targeted parent won’t develop cancer, or have a stroke, or die in a car accident… tomorrow. And then the child never has an opportunity for her father’s love – ever.

And her last memory of her beloved father will be of her cruelty and rejection of him. A memory for the rest of her life. Why did they do this to her? The mental health people. Why did the mental health people do this to her, prevent her from loving her father and receiving her father’s love. Now, she has lost the chance. Forever.

It breaks my heart. And makes me so furious at the ignorance and incompetence in forensic psychology that creates such widespread suffering, grief, and immense tragedy. The mental health people that prevented this little girl’s bonding with her father are despicable for their ignorance and incompetence, and for what they did to this 9 year-old little girl, robbing her of her father’s love, and burdening her with a tragic final memory of her cruelty and rejection.”

Dr. Craig Childress: Attachment Based "Parental Alienation" (AB-PA)

I have a client.  A targeted parent father.  He so very much loved his daughter.  She’s nine.  Her mother created all sorts of barriers to the father’s love for his daughter.  Most recently was an effort by the mother to replace the father with her new boyfriend.

The father was set to actively fight for his love in court.  That’s why he contacted me, he wanted my help.  He has a very strong case. 

But then he had a massive stroke that left him paralyzed, conscious but not able to communicate.  It’s severe.  He’ll wind up dying eventually from this stroke and its aftermath, maybe six months, maybe a couple of years, but he’s not going to recover language or the ability to move.

What makes you think we have time?

My heart breaks for his daughter, the love of this dad’s life.  She will never know ever again, the…

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