How Kids Lacking Early Nurturance Develop Psychological Wounds

” I have worked as a family-systems therapist with over 1,000 typical men, women, couples, and some of their kids since 1981. Many of them have been in troubled and/or divorcing biofamilies, single-parent families, and stepfamilies.

I now believe there are up to five interrelated reasons why millions of couples divorce psychologically or legally. Perhaps the most powerful and least known of the five is the psychological effect of early-childhood abandonment, neglect, and abuse (trauma)..

My research suggests that if young kids get too few of their developmental needs met, theyautomatically survive by forming a multi-part (split) personality. This causes several interrelated psychological “wounds”:

excessive shame, guilts, and fears;

major reality distortions and trust problems; and for some…

difficulty loving, empathizing and bonding with some or all other people.

Unseen, these psychological wounds seem “normal.” They significantly stress relationships, careers, parenting, and physical and mental health. Our media uses the vague term “mental illness” to refer to what this site calls “psychological wounds.” See this brief research summary and this reprint on U.S. parents’ lack of “baby knowledge.”

http://sfhelp.org/gwc/gwc.htm

Parental Alienation

 I have worked as a family-systems therapist with over 1,000 typical men, women, couples, and some of their kids since 1981. Many of them have been in troubled and/or divorcing biofamilies, single-parent families, and stepfamilies.

      I now believe there are up to five interrelated reasons why millions of couples divorce psychologically or legally. Perhaps the most powerful and least known of the five is the psychological effect of early-childhood abandonment, neglect, and abuse (trauma)..

      My research suggests that if young kids get too few of their developmental  needs met, theyautomatically survive by forming a multi-part (split) personality. This causes several interrelated psychological “wounds”:

  • excessive shame, guilts, and fears;

  • major reality distortions and trust problems; and for some…

  • difficulty loving, empathizing and bonding with some or all other people.

      Unseen, these psychological wounds seem “normal.” They significantly stress relationships, careers, parenting, and physical and mental health. Our media…

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